Plan B

I have recently began teaching a Bible study at my church.  We are reading through the Bible from the beginning to the end.  We are currently in the prophetic books.  You know, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel and the like.  These books are really interesting and filled with great truth.  But to be honest, they can be confusing and hard to relate to.  I’ve never been exiled…have you?  So, finding the way it applies to me…mom of three, living in the lap of luxury, and a less than genius kind-a-gal…can be daunting.

Before I dove into Lamentations (Oh Boy!) this morning, I picked up my Journey (Lifeway’s devotional book for women) to see a familiar passage.  At the top of the page was Jeremiah 29:11.  “I know the plans I have for you…plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  Having just finished the book of Jeremiah in class, it struck me that I don’t remember underlining that passage or talking about it.  I LOVE that passage, so why did God plaster it before me today and not last week?

As I continued to read, I realized why.  A couple of posts ago, I shared that God is working in my life.  He’s wanting me to take steps toward what He has for me and who He wants me to become.  That’s a scary venture, but I’m being obedient.  The devotion dealt with the subject of Plan B…what to do when our dreams seem to be on hold or even fail to materialize.  I have to admit that I fear the loss of my dreams so I could totally relate to the story being conveyed in the article.  It was the prayer at the end that spoke to me the most.    “Father, help me resist the temptation to take matters into my own hands when I don’t see You acting fast enough.  I know You are working even when I can’t see it.” 

As I mentioned, Lamentations is the book for my Bible study class this week.  There, Jeremiah shared his struggle to believe that God would bring to fruition his dream of seeing the nation of Israel restored.  Jeremiah felt abandoned, trapped in a “hopeless” situation.  He seemed to struggle to remember the word of the Lord he had delivered in Jeremiah 29:11.  But God is gracious and allowed His faithful servant to pour out  his desperation. Jeremiah then turned to the only one who could deliver him – Yahweh!!  He remembered that, “Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.  ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘Therefore I hope in Him’. The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.  It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.”  Lam. 3:22-26  I’m sure Jeremiah never dreamed of being exiled, but it was God’s plan to preserve His people.

I am learning, as Jeremiah did, that my only hope for anything is this life or the life to come is found in the LORD!  His plans for me are far greater than any plan I have for myself.  My trust must be in Him!  I am also discovering the dreams that are from God will always exalt Christ and not myself.  That’s hard to accept but it’s true.  As a child of God, my personal fulfillment is found in exalting my Savior and it’s up to Him when, where and how He chooses to use me for His glory.

Will I continue seeking what God has for me?  SURE

Will I continue to follow the dreams of my heart?  ABSOLUTELY

The bottom line is this; I submit to His plans for me and I chose to lay down my own dreams when He asks me to do so.  Will you join me?

There is JOY in Plan B!

Captured

I attended a music conference this past weekend.  It was for church music ministry leaders to come together to worship and to share with one another new ideas and information.  The event opened with a corporate worship time and a sermon by the conference pastor.  He delivered a wonderful sermon regarding worship taken from Revelation chapters 4 and 5.  As I listened to this passage, I was reminded of a song that I wrote several years ago now.  The song was written after I had read this text.  The story in Revelation 4-5 is that of a worship service in Heaven.  What a powerful passage that moves my heart every time I read it.  One part that grabs my attention is the mention of golden bowls that are used the hold the prayers of the saints (us) and how God breathes them in as a fragrance…what a picture!

Although scripture doesn’t say for sure, I wonder if God takes each bowl and holds it.  If so, it would be held close to His heart as He breathes in our confession, our petition and our praise.  I can imagine the pleasure this brings to our God as we totally depend on Him and know that He hears our prayers.  Just thinking about this causes me to want to pray more than I do.  Oh, that we would understand how He longs for us to share all of ourselves with Him.  May this song help you to understand that you are valuable to God and that even your deepest thoughts of Him and to Him are captured and treasured.

 

I am one voice in the expanse of humanity.
A vapor in time, here today and forgotten tomorrow.
My voice gets lost in a sea of many.
But when I call to You, You know me.

Oh that my words, would be captured by,
The hands that were, crucified for my sin.
And placed near His heart, for the glory of Him.

Your Word says you hear every prayer sent to Heaven.
They rise up to You, as an offering.
The pleasure they bring, To Your heart as they encircle You.
You keep them with You and think of me.

Oh that my words, would be captured by,
The hands that were, crucified for my sin.
And placed near His heart, For the glory of Him.

 

“And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb.  Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints.”  Revelation 5:8

Satisfy (new song)

Do you struggle with being satisfied?  I do.  I have this internal drive for something more.  I am grateful for my blessings, but I don’t seem to stay satisfied for very long.  As I read scripture, I have realized that satisfaction is something we are all searching for but seem to miss.  I think it’s because we are looking in the wrong places.  We seek it in our possessions, our positions in life and in our relationships.  The fact is none of those things can give us true and lasting satisfaction.
Our only hope is found in our relationship with Christ.  I have to admit that I struggle here too.  I am still learning how to find contentment in Him alone.  The apostle Paul got there so I know it is possible.  I’m taking steps that I feel certain will lead me to the place I desire to be;  daily time with God in His word, talking with Him through prayer and cultivating the gifts He’s given me so that I can help others know His truth.

A few months ago I was not feeling very satisfied in any area of my life and the phrase “He’s all I need” kept going through my mind.  I so wanted that to be true in me but I lacked faith to believe it.  So, I wrote this song as a prayer to God.  I am very thankful that He answers it every day.  May you seek Him and know that He alone satisfies.

 

Satisfy my weary heart
Lead me into perfect rest
Give me strength to walk, Your journey everyday
Satisfy my weary heart

Satisfy my lonely heart
Draw me close into Your arms
Whisper words to remind me that I’m Your chosen child
Satisfy my lonely heart

Satisfy my struggling heart
Fill it with the faith You give
Show me how to live my life and know Your peace is real
Satisfy my struggling heart

You, are all I need
Help me to know You, are all I need
I want to believe that You, are all I need
Help my unbelief

Satisfy my trusting heart
Guard it from all doubt and fear
Stand with me and guide me and remind me You are near
Satisfy my trusting heart

Satisfy my wandering,
Satisfy my longing,
Satisfy – my heart.

“Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”  Psalm 90:14

Thanks for Waiting

I love to try a new recipe.  Recently, a good friend of mine posted a recipe for Slow Cooker Ribs on her Facebook profile.  I’ll tell ya, they looked awesome!  So, I decided to give them a try.  I texted her and asked for the recipe and she gladly returned the link.  She also told me that they were on sale to boot!  I hurried over to the supermarket, picked up my baby backs and headed home with the intention of making this recipe in the next few days.

Now, I’m sure I’ve told you that I am the mother of three, the wife of a pastor, the owner of a cat, the green thumb of a patio garden, the Bible study leader, the…well, you get the picture, I’m busy.  While all of the menu planning was going on in my head, I was also getting my middle child ready for camp.  While packing, he must have been thinking about those ribs.  Before heading out the door, he said to me ‘I sure wish I were going to be here when you fix those ribs.”  I told him that I would fix them again and that he would be just fine without them.

Each night, I planned to start the ribs the next morning, and each morning I would forget!  You see, you can’t cook them quickly.  They must be cooked low and slow! The week went on and so did the list of things to do. I was really getting frustrated with this endeavor.  I had never cooked them before and it seemed like now wasn’t going to be the time.  I was actually beginning to worry that they would spoil if I didn’t settle on a time to prepare them.  It was coming down to the wire.  I HAD to get started! Then I had a thought.  Nick will be home tomorrow.  I’ll just wait for him!  Perfect!  I laid out the recipe, gathered the ingredients, set out the crockpot, asked my husband to NOT let me forget this time, and went to sleep thinking about those RIBS!

When the morning came, I did as I had planned and felt pretty good about finally getting this event underway.  All through the day my family was in and out of the kitchen.  Every so often, someone would come in and say “man, that smells good.”  It really did and I was excited too!  I knew that I had finally found a recipe that everyone was looking forward to trying.  And finally it was time for the big event – “COME AND GET IT!”

We all sat down together as excited to be looking at the best plate of ribs you could imagine.  Oh, and I made all the homemade sides too:  corn on the cob, BBQ baked beans and fresh cole slaw.  I could not wait for my family to enjoy what I had prepared for them.  And let me tell you, enjoy we did!  It was GREAT and we had BBQ sauce everywhere!  Every few bites, Nick would comment on how good the meal was.  As he was finishing up he said to me, “Mom, I’m glad you waited for me.”  I was too.  He really took great pleasure in the meal that I prepared just for him.

I went to bed that night thinking about how happy I felt serving my family and that Nick sure enjoyed that meal.  As most hormonally fluctuating 40-something women do, I was having trouble sleeping.  I began to wonder what spiritual truth was in this story of the ribs.  There had to be something – way too much thought, preparation and production over a few slabs of pork.  And then it hit me.

I’ve shared in a previous post that God has been stirring me lately.  For many years now, I’ve been simmering.  I’ve also been frustrated by that fact.  But just like it takes time to properly cook ribs, it also takes time for God to properly prepare me to fulfill His purpose.  He’s given me a specific personality, talents, spiritual gifts and life experiences that make a recipe for success in His Kingdom.  I needed time to simmer; to marinate; to become tender; to become seasoned and ready to be the best that I can be for Him.  And one more thing to consider…the people that I am to impact have to be present for the “meal.”  I pray that I will hear them say, “thanks for waiting.”

Are you like me, frustrated with the simmering process?  Do you wish it was your time to serve?  Are you thinking that God has left you on the stove?  I promise that He hasn’t forgotten you!  He will use you to feed many and all the glory will be His.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1

I Need You (new song)

For a long time now my life has been a pretty picture.

Smiley faces and happy daisies all along my way.

And for a long time now I’ve felt the warmth of your presence.

But then everything, everything – changed.

Right now I need to see You.

Will You show Yourself to me?

I need to know that You’re still with me.

Even though, I don’t know where You’re leading me.

For a long time now I have been wandering in the dark.

Asking my questions, getting no answers at least that’s how it seems.

And for a long time now You’ve seemed a million miles away.

Won’t you say something – anything?

Right now I need to hear You.

Will You whisper peace to me?

I need to know that You’re still with me.

Even though, I don’t know where You’re leading me.

My child, I’ve never left you.

Your pain is real to me and I love you.

Keep seeking Me.  I long to be found.

Hold on, hold on – I’m here.

Fear Should be Afraid

Fear is loud.  It screams with a constant high note at close range into my ear.

Fear is heavy.  It sits massively upon my chest making it hard to take a breath.

Fear is lonely.  It puts me in a small dark space – no light and no hope.

Fear is fast.  It sweeps over me quickly and causes my normal actions to move in slow motion.

Fear is a task-master.  It drives me to bear the burden of its load.

JESUS!  Cast out all fear that is in me!

“The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear.”  Psalm 118:6a

Ok, Ok…I write

I am trying to realize that songwriting is a form of “real” writing.  I’ve never considered myself a writer, however.  The label of writer is one that makes me very uncomfortable.  I have always struggled in the area of literature and writing.  In school, I always wanted to give the “right” answer and it would frustrate me greatly that there could be many answers.  I didn’t like it when what I interpreted from a passage wasn’t what anyone else, including the teacher, saw or understood.  So, it was there that I decided I was not nor ever would be a writer.

I began songwriting when I was in college.  My brother and I formed a singing group and I decided I wanted to write original songs.  Actually, I believe that God decided that He wanted me to write songs and He clued me in during those years.  The first truth that inspired me was grace.  Oh, to truly grasp the concept of the grace of God!  I can’t give proper words to it, but it is the most wonderful gift given to man.

It has been twenty plus years now that I have been songwriting.  I have probably written between 10 to 20 songs.  I do nothing in a “crank it out” style.  I must be inspired to write a song, paint a picture, read a book or even have a conversation.  I guess you could say that I live life impulsively.  That’s a fair assessment.  But this way of life works for me.  I’ve said all of that to say this – I am a writer.

For Such a Time as This (new song)

She must have been frightened as she walked the path, to a place far from home.

Putting all her trust in an answered prayer, knowing he would lead her along.

Perilous times lay ahead of her.  She could feel it deep inside.

With each step her heart beat faster, for she knew it was her time.

 

In a place she didn’t belong.  In a place she didn’t wanna be.

With a purpose far beyond her ability.

In a place she didn’t belong.  In a place she didn’t wanna be.

For such a time as this…

 

She must have been frightened as she walked this path,  toward the one who held her fate.

Putting her trust in the God she loved, knowing He would save the day.

Perilous moments lay ahead of her, she could feel it deep inside.

With each step her heart beat faster for she knew this was her time.

 

In a place she didn’t belong.  In a place she didn’t wanna be.

With a purpose far beyond her ability.

In a place she didn’t belong.  In a place she didn’t wanna be.

For such a time as this…

 

Lord, I understand how she felt that day.

I wonder what You want from me.

I know that you have a plan for my life.

Help me look to You and believe.

 

In this place I don’t belong.  In this place I don’t wanna be.

With a purpose far beyond my ability.

In this place I don’t belong.  In this place I don’t wanna be.

For such a time as this…use me.

You (new song)

All alone and blue, that’s how I met you.  Then my world started spinning.

My heart began to beat, loneliness in retreat, at the moment I met –

 

You  –  night turned into day and my heart melted to clay because of

You –  and I thank my God above that I found You!

 

It’s amazing to me, that love can set you free in ways you couldn’t imagine.

Just knowing you are near, takes away the fear, of forever!

 

You – turned my world upright, always holding me tight and I love

You – we will never part and I only give my heart to You!

 

You fill me with real joy and peace, and room enough to spread my wings.

We are heart to heart and soul to soul.  You make me want to lose control and give it all to

 

You – are the reason that I’m singing, the reason for my being

You – are the smile on my face and I’m thankful for the day that I found You!

Here I Go!

I have no clue what has come over me in the past two days.  For several years now, I have checked out of life.  I’ve decided that it’s too hard, too hurtful, too mean, too disappointing and too exhaustive to continue to give it my all.  I’ve been tired of being disappointed, left out, overlooked, ignored, judged and abandoned.  But, yesterday, I’ve decided to be ALL IN!

You have to know me to understand how I can just “flip” my state of mind.  I have a great friend who is also a life coach.  If you don’t know what that is, you need to investigate!  A life coach is someone who helps you find the roadblocks that you set up in your own life and eliminate them as well as to help you navigate around the ones put there by others.  After a lunch with her (which really was a coaching, counseling, kick my bootie kind of thing) I have been mulling over all that she said.  And that’s what I do…I think and think and think and think until DING…time to take action.  Now, this process may take a VERY LONG TIME, but then there comes a day when I’m ready.  I guess that was yesterday.

What am I ready to do exactly??  TRY.  I know that trying does not equal success and I know that the day when I’m ready to check out again will come.  But for this day, I’m in and you can’t stop me.  And as I try to live out all that God has for me, I’ll prepare for the “check out” day by reading God’s Word, talking to Him regularly and pushing forward through fear and live on the edge in faith.  If I fall, I fall.  I’ll get up again.  So, if you see me wallowing around…help me up!  Please, don’t leave me there!

I know that God has a purpose for me…a place for me…and is SO EXCITED that I’m ALL IN!